Can you relate to the feeling of being completely depleted after work, and then finding your kids arguing over who gets to control the TV remote? Your immediate response could be to intervene and promptly settle the dispute. Desperate for a moment of tranquility, you might even find yourself shouting. However, it is vital to recall how much more receptive we are to feedback when it is delivered with empathy and comprehension.
It is critical to connect with children before you correct. Our children, especially those who have gone through difficult times, thrive when we focus on providing support and building trust. They are more likely to respond well to correction when solid trust is established and when they perceive that care is at the core of the request.
3 Ways to Help You Connect Before You Correct
Maintain eye contact
Establishing eye contact is crucial as it reassures the child that s/he is acknowledged. By matching eye level, you can establish a stronger connection with your child. Interacting on the same level cultivates a bond, communicating your care and attention. If your child is okay with physical touch, putting your hand on his chin also creates a sense of comfort during a difficult conversation.
Be aware of your tone
Tone of voice can greatly impact the way a message is perceived. Yelling during a conversation can diminish the effectiveness of your message. If the goal is to deescalate the situation, the best results are found when the tone demonstrates kind intention and remains at a normal volume.
Know where your child is coming from
Compassion is putting yourself in your child’s shoes and creates trust that builds a connection. When you avoid making assumptions, you can effectively enter discussions with your child in a fair and unbiased manner.
For example, if your child is getting visibly upset when s/he is told to share, a good place to start is to ask questions like: Why don’t you want to share? Is this toy special to you? When your child remains irritable, it is important to check if his basic physical needs are being fulfilled. Perhaps she is hungry, hasn’t slept in a while, or simply just needs to take a deep breath. Many times, there is a reason for meltdowns, and getting to the source will ease some conflict.
Key Takeaway
At the heart of parenting lies the unwavering importance of trust. The presence of trust strengthens relationships, influences conversations, and fosters a sense of belonging. The only way to build that trust is through creating a solid connection. This leads to successful correction and discipline.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Application
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