One of the most impactful ways to start building trust and growing your connection with your children is by embracing the power of saying “yes.”
Being intentional about finding ways to approve your children’s requests is a small shift to make, but it can have major impacts on how much your children trust you and your judgment.
Read on to learn why saying “yes” to your child more often can be effective for building trust between you and your kid.
Building Relationships with Your Child
In the moments when your child approaches you with questions or requests, take a few seconds to pause before you respond. Ask yourself if there is a way to say yes to their request. By consciously evaluating your initial reaction, you can determine if your inclination to say no is truly justified.
This simple shift can open new avenues for connection and understanding in your relationship, which is extremely important if you want to work on building trust with your child.
For example, my daughter loves to help me in the kitchen. I often say no because I’m in a rush and the mess seems overwhelming. However, if I take a moment to view her request as a chance to connect, I can transform the situation. By saying yes to her helping with dinner, I not only foster our bond but also show her she is heard, valued, and loved. Although it may take more time to clean up afterward, the opportunity to strengthen our relationship is worth it.
You might wonder if saying “yes” often will make it harder for your kids to accept a “no” from you sometimes. Research shows that saying yes more often — when it’s safe and reasonable — enhances your relationship with your children. This makes it easier for them to accept your “no” when it’s necessary, as they will trust your judgment.
Of course, there will be times when saying yes isn’t in your child’s best interest. Setting limits is crucial for their safety and well-being.
To help them cope with disappointment, explain: “I want to say yes as much as possible because it brings me joy. But when I need to say no, I need you to trust me and accept that answer.” Taking the time to explain your reasoning is another effective strategy for building trust with your kids.
Children overcoming traumatic experiences often struggle with feelings of insecurity, unpredictability, and a lack of control, all of which undermine their ability to trust others, including parents and caregivers. Offering additional clarity as to why you said “no” can help with building relationships between you and your children, too.
Create a “Yes” Basket
One area where you can work on building trust with your child is by creating a “yes” basket, which could be a helpful tool for communicating care and safety to your kids. Since food can be a sensitive issue for children who have experienced trauma, fill a basket with healthy snacks that they can access anytime. When they ask for a snack from the basket, your answer should always be “yes.”
This approach not only fosters connection and trust but also encourages them to express their needs verbally. If limits are necessary—like when it’s close to dinner or bedtime—here’s how to navigate that:
- Start by switching your “no” to a “yes.”
- Set a clear limit.
- Offer an alternative.
For example, you could say, “Yes, you can have that snack. We’re about to eat dinner, so you can keep it nearby and enjoy it once dinner is over.”
Another way to create opportunities to say “yes” is to have each family member share an activity they would like to do together. These can be written down and added to a basket or jar and each week the family takes turns picking an activity to do together. HopeConnect™ Everyday Moments™ activities are a great starting point for this.
By implementing these strategies, you can create a more positive environment at home where your children feel heard and valued while also learning to accept boundaries. Having structures like these in place is not only helpful for building trust with your kid, but it helps grow your relationship overall.
Key Takeaway
A “Yes” basket can be a helpful tool for communicating care and safety to your kids. The benefits to your child include fostering connection and trust, empowerment and control, and relationship building.
Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.
Application
Need a fun activity to jump start your “yes” basket?
Flashlight Tag is a fun game to play with your kids before bedtime, encouraging them to look forward to rest instead of dreading it.
Access Flashlight Tag now in our HopeConnect™ Everyday Moments™ collection.
