If we’re being completely honest, most of us didn’t plan on being single moms.
At some point along the way, something big happened in our lives and we found ourselves raising our children alone.
Depending on our unique stories, we could have gotten here by divorce, adoption, having a child before we were married or our spouse passing away. And sometimes, these life events have a way of making us turn bitter.
However, as a single parent, it’s important that we learn how to respond in healthy ways so our children can see us reflecting the love of Christ in word and deed.
Here are some tips to help you get started.
This article is #9 of a 10-part series designed to give single moms actionable tips to help you navigate single parenthood with more patience, gentleness and grace. If you missed the first article, you can read it here.
Preparing Yourself for Emotionally Healthy Parenting
In chapter 9 of the book, The 10 Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make, the authors Pam Farrel and PeggySue Wells outline different ways single moms can commit to responding to life’s stressors in emotionally healthy ways.
And so much of the way we respond to our children, former spouses and other family members requires us to give ourselves time to heal and process before we enter a stressful situation.
Family hurt hits differently, but here are five commitments we can make as single parents to ensure we’re ready to respond in emotionally healthy ways before stress strikes:
- Take a vacation. It doesn’t have to be elaborate but schedule some time to get away by yourself so you can reconnect with God and hear how He wants you to respond in a specific situation.
- Give your kids unstructured time. Just like you’re stressed, your children probably are, too. Give them time on the weekends and in the evenings to process in their own way.
- Focus on God. When we’re under pressure, it’s easy to focus on what we want to change in the other person. Instead, focus on God and allow Him to move in and through you.
- Allow space to grieve. Change can cause grief, even if it’s for the best. Give yourself time and space to feel your emotions without judgment so you can work through them. Pain knows no timeline.
- Focus on forgiveness. We forgive others because God first forgave us. Allow yourself space to release any grudges you hold against your family so you can move forward in a healthy manner.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Emotionally healthy parenting isn’t always easy, but we can commit to moving toward healthier practices each day by keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.
ACTIVITY
Our children get overwhelmed just like we do. In these moments, encourage your children to slow down and focus on Jesus by playing Breathe and Believe.
Find this game and more now in the Everyday Moments™ activities collection!
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
- Which of these strategies can you implement in your schedule this week? Share your commitment with an accountability partner from church.
- Are you harboring unforgiveness against a family member? Ask God to reveal this to you so you can move forward in your healing journey.
KEY VERSE
“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” ~Hebrews 12:2 (NLT)
PRAYER
Dear Lord, please make me more like Jesus. Heal any unresolved hurt inside me, and give me the wisdom and self-discipline to be an emotionally healthy parent. In your Son’s precious name, amen.